Tuesday, April 4, 2023
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Lydia, Becki, and Peter your Mom was the essence of a Mom who made anyone she came in contact with feel loved and accepted. I met your Mom on our first day of Kindergarten at the bus stop on Pine Hills Drive. Lydia and I realized we had something in common and special, we were both adopted! We hit it off as friends from that moment. Our Mom’s and Dad’s became friends, and our lives would be forever changed, by our friendship. I still remember the very first day I went to Lydia’s house and your Mom opened the porch door on a warm afternoon and behind her were Lydia’s sister, Becki, and brother, Peter, giggling with happiness. They got that giggling from their mom. Your Mom had the best infectious giggle and she made life full of happiness. I was a shy little girl as a child, your mom welcomed me like one of her own children. Your Mom had that way of making any child she came in contact with feel loved, special, and welcomed. From that very first moment onward, your Mom became what I thought to be my second Mom. Your Mom welcomed me each and every visit, and that was most likely everyday year round as Lydia and I would ride our bikes between our homes. We’d play at each other’s houses, played house, dolls, have sleepovers, play outdoors and in the woods, hide-n-seek, swim, ride our bikes to the playground and around the neighborhood, attend Ballet, and Brownies, and trips to your grandparents’ house. Our Mom’s would take care of those pesky scary snakes too! Dinner at the Tengstrands was always special. We’d sit up at the island counter, and I can still hear your Mom laughing and saying Oh Eric! One evening while preparing dinner we were all sitting at the counter when we noticed ants coming out of the cupboards and they were everywhere! Lydia, Becki, Peter, and I just laughed and laughed. It was quite hilarious and your poor Mom’s reaction, Oh Eric! In what was a bad situation, your Mom made it ok and had us all giggling! As a child, it seemed that our moms lived just to make our childhoods the best they could ever be, and they actually did succeed in that effort. Just to sit and think of every day and every moment they spent in that effort – simply beautiful beyond words. We had an idyllic childhood for 3 years and then my Dad found a job in Rochester. Your Mom had a children’s party for my brother and I where she crowned us Prince and Princess of the party. Our parents vowed not to let the move end our relationship. Our Mom’s would drive half way to a Bee Shop on Lake Seneca where one of us would go to the others house for a visit. We’d have Easters together, summers, pancakes with our initials breakfasts, camping inclusive of s’mores, popcorn in your fireplace, Eldridge Park, Harris Hill rides and mini-golf, played many sessions of progressive rummy, you name it, we had fun thanks to our parents. In 1975 we learned we were moving to California. Lydia and I wrote to each other and in time we would find our parents would be there for us too. We later found not all letters made it to California yet that gave us at least one found in 2019 to read together. The Tengstrands Summer Cross Country Trip they drove out to California to our house in San Jose. After a stay Lydia’s parents asked if I could go to Southern California with them and what we didn’t know was that was a test for when we arrived home before I knew it I was going back east on the road trip! What an adventure we all had! All the sights, to sleeping in a converted train sleeper, hotels, and even a church basement the time and laughter together. My final trip as a teenager was for Lydia’s graduation. Again the best of times spending time with my Tengstrand family. Later when married, Drew and I visited several times. I remember the first time in 1985, we met Lydia’s grandparents then living at the house, and Nancy had meant for me to see Lydia and Becki’s old bedroom, I missed out but appreciated the thought. When Nancy had her little shop, she’d send me little presents of which I’ve kept through the years all wooden hand-made creations; two adorable easter bunnies, two pumpkins, a welcome sign – all little treasurers. As I write, the little easter bunnies are out shining their sweet little happy faces in our home. In 2006, Drew and I came back for a visit with our boys. Nancy was then married to Don and they were out of town so we missed visiting with them. Yet they were so very kind to let us stay at their lovely home while we were in town. It meant so very much to us and it was the next best thing to visit with Nancy as you could feel the love in their home. In 2019, our last visit, Nancy still had that infectious giggle, love, kindness that was unique to Nancy.
In our adult years, your Mom supported Lydia’s efforts to find her biological family and that was a selfless act beyond what could be expected for an adoptee. Your Mom knew how important knowing your biological family and medical history was and she was open to helping you -love with no limits. I know, Lydia, this loss for you is un-stabilizing as your Mom was the anchor, we didn’t realize, from our primal wound with our adoption. Becki and Peter, I can only imagine your deep loss. Yet Lydia, Becki, and Peter, our moms, gave us everything to carry on and stand tall – their unending love.
All in all, throughout each time we’d get the opportunity to spend time together. Your Mom made it special, full of love, kindness, caring, a sparkle in her eye, and you always knew you were loved like her own. Your Mom was truly a most amazing lady who will always live on in our hearts and very dear memories. Your Mom loved you with every ounce of her sole and being and raised 3 amazing children who would go on to inspire and have amazing children of their own who she loved dearly.
A beautiful legacy, Mrs. Nancy Tengstrand Wenslow, thank you for your unending love to all that had the privilege to be part of your life. Thank you for being my second Mom, you will forever be in my heart.
Don, thank you for giving Nancy the best remaining years of her life. My sincere condolences to you and the family.
My love to Lydia, Becki, Peter, your mom lives on in each and every one of you, and her lovely grandchildren. Here is to our beloved parents who we know are in heaven having a cup of tea sharing their stories once again.
Love always,
Elaine Benson Petitclerc
